"Honey, your friends are… oh… Joey… what happened to you…" Laura set the book she was reading down on the coffee table, and rose from the couch the moment she saw Frank supporting Joe through the front door.

Frank felt his brother wince beside him and his heart sank to his guts. He felt so sorry for his mother; she was only trying to be loving to a son who threw the love back in her face. The worst thing was, he had no idea he was doing it. Giving Joe an askew glance, he was half-relieved that Joe still could manage a pathetic excuse of a smile for their mom. The other half was peeved because he knew Joe’s poorly attempted smile would only hurt Laura more.

"Ah… I fell into the drain…"

"Is the drain ten meters deep? Don’t lie to me Joe." Laura hurriedly walked towards them and due to his incapability to walk away by himself, Joe was trapped and he stiffened, his hands straight down by his sides, as Laura fussed over him, touching the gauze plastered on his right cheek.

Oh, the torture you’re going through now, little bro.

"Mom… I’m ok…"

"No… you’re not… we should get you to a hospital…"

It was then Frank decided that he should rescue his brother. It was not that he found his mother annoying but experience taught him that if the scene was allowed to unfold, it would only end up in Joe storming away and Laura blowing up at the son she no longer recognized but missed terribly. Certainly Joe could not just stalk away now- Frank knew every step Joe took would send throbbing, agonizing vibration through his body- from the bruised flesh to the traumatized bones. Macho pride, though, prevented Joe from relying on Frank completely for the physical support he badly needed and forced him to paste smiles of bravado onto his face for Mina to frown at.

"He’s alright, Mrs. Hardy. We brought him to the doctor and he’s only badly bruised. Nothing a couple of days in bed and good sense would not heal." Mina stepped out from behind the brothers. Laura was mildly surprised to see Mina suddenly appearing because all the while, her diminutive form was completely hidden by the two relatively much larger young men. Mina stretched out a slim firm hand and introduced herself.

"I’m Mina Lee, Mrs. Hardy, Vanessa’s cousin. Joe told me a lot about you." She smiled at Laura and as Frank watched from the corner of his eyes, he saw Laura startled slightly at the mention of Vanessa but relaxed considerably as she warmed up to Mina’s smile and shook her hand gently. Somehow, Mina had the kind of smile that could put people at ease- like warm sun rays after a torrential shower to dry everyone’s dampened spirits. Frank felt his heart melting as well, just looking at her but his attention was jerked abruptly back towards his brother when he felt Joe teetering a little, trying to just slyly move away from the group only to stumble a little. His knees had taken a beating and the soreness was causing him to lose his balance every time he tried to walk by himself. Frank immediately grabbed Joe’s arms from behind to steady him, marveling at how Joe managed to take two steps ahead without them noticing.

"He did…" Laura glanced at Joe who twisted his lips and turned away. Deliberately, she ruffled Joe’s blond hair only to have him shrinking away. Estrangement was taking a long time to wear out and Frank hoped Joe had not forgotten how to relate to the family he was so bent on running away from.

"Only nice things I hope." Laura concluded and led Mina to the couch, her face lighting up in a motherly beam, her mind transparent for Frank to observe. Either she was happy because she thought Mina might bridge the rift that had widened between the Hardys and the Benders or she was looking at Mina as a prospective daughter-in-law.

For Joe, of course.

"Frank, Tony called. He said they would be arriving around six-thirty. Do you need me to fix dinner for all of you?" Laura stopped, suddenly remembering the message she was supposed to pass on to her son.

Frank glanced at his watch and saw that it was already six and then he took in his mother’s outfit. She had meticulously put on her make-up and though her choice in clothes was casual, it was the going-out kind of casual. Frank knew if he asked, Laura would prepare a wonderful meal at the expense of her own plans, without any qualms, just because she was their mother. He shook his head.

"It’s ok mom, I think we’ll go out for pizza later. Going out with dad?"

"Yes… and no. Emily had taken a liking to an upscale apartment down at Coast Road so we’re helping her take a look at it. She met an old colleague down at Sanctuary and I guess the old itch of counseling people was getting to her. She might be considering a stint with Sanctuary, having fallen in love with Bayport and all, said we have the nicest beach."

"That’s nice…" Frank was relieved. He liked Emily and he knew Emily was helping his parents along with their anguish at not being able to reach out to Joe but having an outsider in the house was making Frank a little uncomfortable. The discomfiture stemmed from simple things, like how he must be more modestly dressed and that he could not blast his stereo with Beethoven Symphony Nine when he was frustrated because, though he knew his parents would understand, he might disturb the guest whose room was just next to his.

"Mina, will you talk to me for a while? It’s been a long time since I received news about Andrea…"

"No problem, Mrs. Hardy…"

"Call me Laura." She sat Mina down on the couch while Frank led Joe down to the den.

"We’ll be in the den when the gang comes over." Frank informed his mom at the doorway leading to the stairs that would bring them to the basement-converted den.

"All right." Laura waved the brothers on, giving her youngest son another worried glance for a second but obviously thought better of it for she smiled sadly to herself and diverted her attention back to Mina. As her heart broke for the umpteenth time, Frank’s heart shattered too only to be glued back together for the painful process to start all over again.

Mommy… I think I’m succeeding. Soon… soon you’ll have your son back. And I’ll have my brother too.

Joe cleared his throat.

"It hurts too much to climb the damn stairs…" He whispered to Frank who wordlessly swung one of Joe’s arms across his shoulders. With Frank taking on most of Joe’s weight, the two brothers made their way slowly down the stairs to the den.

***

 

"We should get someone to tune this old piano here…" Joe tinkered with the keys and Frank noticed that Joe was not stretching his fingers as wide as he could before. The scars had tightened the skin somewhat and it was thanks to therapy that Joe was able to play the piano at all and use his hands normally. However, they would never be as agile as yesteryears. They could dance fluidly still, yet Frank knew the way Joe played was changed forever; the pieces he was drawn to now were darker and filled with much angst. Their horrifyingly beautiful melody subtly but powerfully gnawed at one’s heart. It was the kind of music that would cause Frank’s heart to ache and he would be screaming inwardly to cover his ears yet his hands would not obey. His whole being, though repulsed, was drawn.

I don’t think I want to hear anything he composed for his band.

"You can play the one upstairs… this one has always been a little off-tune anyway… much too old…" Frank suggested off-handedly, still cringing at the way Joe arranged those Minor chords that sounded garbled when he hit certain keys.

"Yup. Off-tune…" Joe admitted and Frank arched his brows, wondering if Joe was double-speaking with his flippant answer. A little too tired from their trip from the warehouse to the hospital and informing the gang to meet up in the Hardy’s residence as Frank did not want Joe to move around too much, he simply shrugged and sat down on the leather couch, listlessly flipping through the latest copy of Time Magazine that his father must had brought down for some quiet reading.

"Think I should trade in the old van for something… flashier?" Joe asked, still playing the shifting chords already programmed in his fingers from years of practice and creativity.

"Why?"

"I don’t know… maybe I just saw some new cars in a copy of Wheels and got a little tempted…" Joe pouted slightly before he shook his head. "I think I should just sell the van. My bank account’s dried up."

"Looking for a loan?" Frank raised his head, remembering the brown envelope still in the Mustang’s glove compartment.

"No…. Just asking for your permission. The van’s after all, sentimental to both of us." Joe replied and the music stopped. "Remember? The first case? Al Rousaka… Rousa… whatever."

Frank knew Joe would never forget the terrorist’s name. The terrorist who had stolen Iola away from all of them. He was only pretending- trying to be casual, to have already succeeded in being unaffected by any mention of the heart-wrenching chase.

"Yes. Al- Rousasa. I…"

The door swung open at that precise moment when Frank wanted to tell Joe to hold back selling the van because he could not bear to see it go and he had enough to spare. The gang clamored down the stairs and Joe grinned at them.

"Hullo."

"Ah… hi, Joe…" Chet muttered and made his way nervously to the coffee table with Tony, bearing gifts of three boxes of pizza and two bottles of Pepsi.

"Whoa man, what happened to you? You look like a canvas for a deranged artist." Phil asked as he stopped behind Joe and placed his hands on Joe’s shoulders.

"Haha. Very funny. I fell down a drain." Joe repeated his old story. "And it was ten meters deep."

Frank laughed out loud then, not knowing why Laura’s accusation, reiterated by Joe would tickle him so. He was glad to see Phil still able to talk to Joe normally, even though he had not spoken to Joe for quite some time.

"Your mom seemed to be warming up to Mina…" Phil dragged out the words and Joe pretended to reach awkwardly behind him to strangle his old friend, but quickly brought his hands back to the piano keys.

"Aw, just shut up…"

Phil chuckled and walked away. He was carrying the duplicated police report with a white envelope clipped onto it. He sat down on the sofa next to Frank with a plop, causing Frank to bounce a little on the seat. Tony and Chet were seated on the floor opposite Frank and Phil, fussing over the food and drinks.

Joe was not making any move from the piano stool and did not seem to have any immediate plans to do so.

Frank indicated the white envelope on Phil’s lap. "What’s that?"

"I thought it’d be useful… actually, Chet thought of it." Phil corrected himself hurriedly when Chet threw him a dirty look.

"Thanks for giving credit where it’s due. I just thought that the police photos may help and… the funny thing is Con’s pretty easy with it. Maybe because we said it’s for you and he bent some rules for an ex-volunteer." Chet lifted up the lid of the topmost pizza box and breathed in deeply. "Cheesy temptation…"

Tony poked the side of Chet’s bulging tummy. "Fatty damnation…"

"If I become an anorexic, I have you to thank for it. My diet has officially ended… with this." Chet took out a slice and finished it in three big bites, bits of cheese falling onto his black t-shirt. "I...jush hope thesh helpsh."

"Gross…" Frank groaned at Chet’s talking with his mouth opened. The sight of mashed up pizza made sticky with saliva took away any appetite that the pizza might have induced in Frank. Suddenly, he heard his brother’s voice behind him. Somehow, Joe must have painfully made his own way towards the gang.

"What’s gross?" he asked, coldly, silencing the group and stopping Chet in mid-chew.

Frank tilted his head up, saw his brother’s scowling face, and he was sure his face fell blatantly. Paranoid and sensitive of late, Joe must have thought Frank was referring the photos yet to be revealed.

"Somebody’s table manners. Come, sit next to me. Where’s Mina? Still talking with my mom?" Frank dismissed Joe’s suspicions and asked Phil offhandedly. Phil nodded as he placed the file and photos onto the coffee table.

"She said she’ll be down in a moment… hey… there she is…" The door swung open again and Mina made her way down the stairs. Joe gingerly sat down next to Frank, his eyes fixed on the white envelope on the table.

"Sorry. Your mom went out… I hope I didn’t miss much."

"Nope, let’s begin shall we? We can eat later." Frank was impatient to get things started. Somehow, they all seemed to be trudging along at too slow a pace. Mina took a seat on the floor next to Tony, on the opposite end across from Joe’s. Her fleeting glances at Joe went unnoticed. In fact, Joe did not even acknowledge her presence. Franks sighed; his brother was taking far too many things for granted these days and one day, should Joe choose to step out of his cocoon, Frank feared Joe might find himself alone.

When he observed that everyone was ready, he took the file and laid the envelope aside, feeling his touch tremble lightly at the anticipation of the gruesome images that it held.

The back of her skull. The… leaking blood and brains…

He wondered how he should start, wary of his brother’s possible reactions. Joe did not know the whole story yet, at least not in detail. Could Joe hold it together or would he be pushed over the edge? He wished the gang had passed him the photos in privacy, so Joe would not know; would not see his nightmares captured in print before his eyes. But what was done was done and Frank silently prayed that madness would not reach from behind and suddenly grip his brother’s head.

He flipped open the report and breathed in heavily, suddenly aware of the silence before him- that of the stillness of a theatre when the curtains drew open for an actor to begin his soliloquy.

"Chet and I visited the crime-scene and we found evidence to suggest strongly that Vanessa was shot after she fell from the tree, a sequence opposite from what was stated in the report. It’s something we discussed briefly before however, now we have found the evidence that confirmed our deductions. Somebody pushed her and that somebody was wearing gloves, obviously, since no fingerprints except Joe’s and Vanessa’s were found on the gun…" Frank realized he could not go on. He felt Joe quivering slightly beside him.

"But who? Who could Vanessa had offended? I mean… yah, she helped you guys out in cases… but it’s always you guys who are tar…" Chet’s mind, too, was running with questions but he stopped himself and took another bite of a new pizza slice. Frank wondered if it was a good idea to bring Joe into the case. There were so many potential landmines they could step on with the questions they asked- words that could wreck him and force him to confront a reality he could not accept. There was only one difference. They would step on the landmines but the one who would blow was Joe.

"Or maybe someone from her past? I mean, how much do we know about Ness anyway? Maybe she had enemies we don’t know about." Tony ventured, less affected than Chet by Frank’s harangue earlier about the two of them being too careless towards Joe’s feelings. Joe bristled and Mina shook her head.

"Ness got along with everybody. I don’t think she had any enemies and even so, those were only petty grievances. Pretty girls get a lot of those from other pretty girls. Nothing to warrant a murder." Mina voiced out, calm and steady. Frank silently admired her composure. Too pre-occupied with how Joe would feel, he had forgotten about Mina. Vanessa was Mina’s cousin as well as best friend, and her death must have shook Mina badly. Mina’s father too died recently and left her an orphan and it was then Frank realized Mina’s life was beset with much loss. Nonetheless, she had an inner strength about her; something very stoic and firm in her solemn positivism towards life.

And he could not help but draw comparisons between Joe and Mina, both facing the same grief but both handling it differently. He knew it was unfair as each individual’s make-up was different but there were selfish times when he would guiltily begrudge his brother for failing to be strong when he needed to, for losing his cool.

For being too emotional.

He swallowed a lump in his throat at his quiet confession of judgmental thoughts.

"So we’re back to a dead end…" Tony muttered dejectedly. "It’s been one year… one long, measly…"

"I want to see the photos." Joe’s raspy voice was soft but his request blared at everyone. "The photos."

"Joe…"

"Don’t baby me, Frank!" Joe snapped and glared at Frank fiercely but immediately chewed his lips after. He turned away and reached over for the envelope. "I… I just remembered something. I see it all… all…" His brother’s stammers drifted off as he reached across Frank for the envelope. "See it all…"

Frank watched as Joe snatched the envelope away and there was a tense silence. Even Mina arched her brows in concern. Frank watched dumbly as Joe retrieved the photos from the envelope and very methodically spread them out on the table, one by one. Chet lifted the stack of pizza boxes away from coffee table and set them on the floor so Joe would have more space.

Vanessa, lying on the floor. Vanessa’s bloodied face, closed up, with a hole in her forehead. Photos of the tree house. Photos of images that haunted Joe’s mind.

"What did you remember?" Frank asked softly when Joe finished laying out the photos in front of him.

"Nothing. I lied. I just want to see the photos." Joe replied numbly, scaring not only Frank. "Her journal. She keeps her journal in her computer. Writes in it everyday."

Present tense. Joe’s beginning to talk about her in present tense.

He was not the only who noticed. Mina’s head shot up as she narrowed her eyes as Joe.

"But it’s her computer. How do we get to it? Andrea’s not very receptive to guests lately… and you know… she might have recycled Ness’s computer or something." Phil reasoned. Mina’s lips were pulled tightly across her face.

"Ness’s room seemed to be untouched. I did try to get into her computer once…the access to her ‘Documents Folder’ is protected by a password." Mina spoke up, some shame creeping into her voice.

Frank was about to ask Mina what she was planning to do but decided to ask her in private instead, if he remembered. Phil stroked his emerging goatee.

"If it’s a normal password, I can break it easily… no problem at all."

"So we can go over… study it carefully. Andrea has to work… we can copy her journal in a zip disk when Andrea’s not around. Mina, do you think you can let us come over when Andrea’s out?" Frank asked.

"Yes. That’s not too difficult… she’s involved in a new project with an advertising firm and rather busy lately. You guys will have plenty of time to do what you need to do..."

Frank clapped his hands once and smiled. "We’re getting somewhere…"

"Her cat-pin." Joe suddenly spoke up again, ripping the blanket of easiness that had weakly wrapped itself around the gang after Joe’s first interruption. "Ness’s cat pin is missing. I returned it to her after we rescued her from the Assassins… remember Frank? I found it by the docks… she’s… she’s missing her cat-pin. She always uses her cat-pin to clasp her sweater together."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Joe looked up into Frank’s face, his eyes widening with some hope. "We’ll find the cat-pin and we’ll find her, right?"

Frank cleared his throat, quickly glancing around and found everyone in yet another awkward silence. Joe had a knack lately for dumping people around him into states of various discomfitures.

"We’ll find out who killed her, Joe." Frank replied hoarsely, his words caught in his throat. Joe looked away, back to the photos.

"Right. Of course." Joe mumbled as he stacked up the photos one by one and placed them meticulously back into the envelope before he sealed it up as best as he could and laid it back on the table again- next to the opened case file.