"There’s nothing wrong with me… I’m a healthy mother-to-be." Callie announced after she stepped out of the gynecologist’s office and walked with a happy bounce to Frank’s side. Frank shook his head and grinned, feeling the heaviness letting up a little as he observed Callie placing a palm on her still flat tummy but soon to be convex with the fattening of a tiny life. She was smiling serenely; probably visualizing the many beautiful futures that the baby would bring her.

And for those trying moments of parenthood, Frank hoped Callie would let him be by her side. Children brought joy, but they also induced migraines with their playfulness. Yet, such trials, though frustrating, would bring happiness of the purest sort that only parents could know.

"Frank, sorry to disturb you so early in the morning. Can… can you accompany for my first medical checkup? Please? I don’t want to go alone… the mothers-to-be… I just know they will stare and may strike up some conversation or something…"

"No problem, Cal. Just give me forty minutes."

He did have classes that day however, there was no questioning where his heart wanted him to be. Logic and reason too cast their votes in his passion’s favor and so, with time passing as quick as the blink of an eye, he was in Aurora Women’s Clinic- all the way on the other end of Bayport which they did not frequent much- waiting for Callie.

"Was that young woman your wife? She’s real pretty. When is she due?"

"Nine months later?"

"You look nervous. Don’t be nervous. The both of you look healthy… what a handsome couple. I’m sure the baby will gorgeous."

"Thanks. I know that for sure. And I’m not nervous… just… excited. Very excited. She’s very special to me and… and it’s a big thing..."

"Can we tell if it’s a boy or a girl?" Frank asked; feeling his curiosity gradually piquing with the rushed unearthing of each syllable. Callie laughed lightly at his increasing childish enthusiasm and he thought he breathed in peace.

"What? I mean, that’s all that should be on your mind right?" He defended his eagerness- feeling his cheeks flush with the kisses of the sun.

She slipped her hand through his and got him confused but he kept it inside of him. He was afraid that he would lose even these little intimacies if he should voice it out and push her to accept him back into her life too fast. It was alright; he was adapting very well to being a friend but adamant not to remain in that situation for far too long.

He really wanted to take care of her; he had confidence in himself.

"Well… I don’t want to know. I want a surprise! Besides… I’m afraid the procedure may not be safe…" Callie guided him to the pharmacy counter. Frank furrowed his brow and frowned.

"I thought you said you were healthy…" Frank halted in his strides and turned sideways to face her, placing an anxious hand on her shoulder.

"Yes, I am. It’s not that, just… the process of it, you know the ultra- scanning, I don’t think it is safe... . But I’m in the pink of health. Don’t be such a worrier… I’m ok. I just need some supplements… like folate… it’s good for the baby…" Callie explained with the patience of a mother and Frank broke into a wide grin, visibly relaxed. A weight lifted from his chest and he wondered if he was actually more worried for Callie than Callie was for herself.

"Look at you, beaming like you’re…" Callie playfully pinched his nose but abruptly pulled her hand back as she suddenly jam-braked her speech. However, it was a little too late. Frank had heard the unspoken word; about to be articulated in carelessness. The persistent yearning was trapped in his throat; the desire scotched his chest and branded on his heart.

I can be…

But he said nothing, just ruffled her hair as they waited for her prescription after she handed it to the kindly, robust grandmother behind the counter who gave them approving looks before she went to retrieve whatever was on the doctor’s list.

***

 

Frank watched her, which was all he could do anyway, just watch her and adore her. He had long finished his lunch but she was still energetically clamping the escargot with the tongs and simultaneously picking out the tasty morsel with a cocktail fork. Finally, she had it out and popped it whole into her mouth.

There was such a satisfied expression on her face. Her eyes shut and her lips lifted up into a blissful smile. Frank was heartened by the sight and thought that maybe, happiness was really just a short distance away, like sitting opposite him- just right across the square dining table.

Not ‘maybe’. Really. Happiness’ really just a breath away. To smell her perfume; let it waft through my veins and carry my spirits up to the smiling sun….

Ah… paradise….

And happiness.

"Hmm…heavenly…" She sighed. Those light brown eyes flashed open again with glee as she started attacking the next, poor snail. Suddenly, noticing Frank’s fixation with her, her delighted expression dissolved and she set the tongs down on the table.

"Ah… you want some?" Callie offered hesitantly, her fork hovering over the plate of beautiful snail shells possessively. Frank chuckled and shook his head.

"Nope… I’m bloated already… man… you eat so much…" He eyed her with amusement and she scowled at him before breaking into a happy smile again as she picked up her tongs and resumed her gluttonous rampage.

Frank almost could not bear to ask her what was on his mind the whole time, she was too resplendent from the clean bill of health and Frank could see the joy at having a baby lighting up her face, chasing away gray shades that had taken away much of her mirth and feistiness.

"Yes, Frank?" Callie set her tongs down again and gave him a knowing glance. "You have something to say, so say it…"

Was my question so apparent on my face? Well, we’re still close enough that we cannot hide anything from each other.

That’s a very good sign. I shall be nothing but positive!

"Well, have you… told your parents yet?" Frank asked; somber by the very nature of his query. Though he cringed inwardly when Callie’s happy mood took a sudden plunge into the fears and apprehension of being a single mother, he did not regret what he had asked. It was important for Callie to talk it out with Mr. and Mrs. Shaw; to be strong; to face up to the eventualities and gain their support as well.

"No… I… my mom knows about Randy…but … it’s precisely because she knows, I’m afraid, she’ll…" Callie’s sweet voice that had a sharp edge to it softened and lowered several decibels. She shrugged- her eyes welling up with something moist.

Frank cleared his throat, hoping he was not about to cross the blurring boundaries. "You can say the baby’s mine..." He offered, reaching across the table to take her hands, feeling them melt into his like how they always had.

For a moment there, he thought he saw a flash of gladness across her face- not the hollow ones, based largely on material things. It was the kind of bliss that came from within oneself; thoroughly felt by one’s soul.

But the shine only shimmered for a moment. Her eyes hooded over and she extricated her hands, staring dumbly at her plate.

"What a wonderful lie… and it’s almost true…" She muttered cryptically before giving him a strained smile. Clamping another escargot with the tongs, she raised it up like a toast of sorts to him and ate but without the zest of before.

As usual Frank, you had to be the thief who stole her joy away. Can’t you just leave her alone to indulge in scarce jubilee?

His guts twisted sharply and he drew in a sharp breath.

"Frank… can I ask another favor from you?"

His attention jerked back abruptly from the miserable wander in the dominion of Guilt when her voice, suddenly so small and vulnerable, called to him in a tone almost like a plea.

"Yes…" Darling?

"Spend the day with me… if you don’t mind… we can… maybe study together… you know…" Callie requested disconnectedly, her sight focused on the table as she did so, like she was so afraid that Frank’s eyes would reveal a premature answer that would be negative. Finally, she gave up and cast those soft brown orbs at him; orbs still sparkling with unshed tears.

Frank just wanted to tell her she had absolutely nothing to be afraid of, not from him. His heart was already presented once again right before her eyes, waiting patiently but anxiously for her to give it a home.

Right next to hers.

"No problem. I love to study…" He cringed immediately at the nerdy reply. In the past, whenever she felt slighted by his attention towards his books and computer, she would never fail to goad him into going out with her by calling him a geek non-stop.

"Callie! I’m not one!"

"Nope… you won’t turn into one if you go out with me. Now. My ‘coolness’ will save your social image."

But his heart was about to burst. Studying. That was not the real thrust of his love. He observed her, not knowing if it was the right time- or if anytime was right. She was smiling shakily at him- her phobia of loneliness gradually assuaged by the promise of his companionship.

Say it Hardy… say it!

He reached out and took her hands into his. This time, they not only melted in his- he swore they melded with his.

" And I love you. So much. So very much."

There. I’ve said it. The birds chirped a tune of sweet euphoria. The sunshine warmed my cheeks.

My heart sang with Love’s most faithful song.

For it is freed.