Bayport was on fire.

The trees were ablaze with waltzing flames of red, gold and yellow. A tangerine hue descended on the quiet, growing town. Despite the glow, no one seemed to mind. There was no overbearing heat. To the citizens, Bayport was at the peak of its beauty.

A gust of wind blew furiously all of the sudden, reminding everyone of its presence, causing the flames to pelt harmlessly onto the solitary runner, jogging along the sidewalk. Pleased at the slight commotion it had caused, the chancy wind settled down and let the soft breeze take over again. Without the strength that had been so briefly loaned to them, the lazy sparks drifted languidly again onto the ground, covering the streets with a golden, crispy carpet.

Leaves crunched under the runner’s feet as his blond hair bounced up and down. He had been running for a very long time, even if he was no marathon runner. But running kept his mind occupied, gave him room to breathe. Two weeks had passed since he ran away from the ocean. He wondered if he was running still.

"You can’t run to escape from whatever is bothering you. One day, you’ll be out of breath. And when you do, you’ll have to stop. If nothing is reconciled, everything will overwhelm you because you have been running all your life and you can’t anymore." Wayne spoke up. He and Shane had been tuning their electric guitars in the dorm room he shared with Shane, two days after they had frantically searched all over town for him. Now, it seemed like everything just settled, a bad memory everyone wanted to forget.

"You mean I can’t run forever." Joe mumbled as he tried to come up with outlines for his paper on Total War due in a couple of weeks’ time. The distorted twangs of the guitar were getting to him but he felt like he needed company around. He wanted to somehow protect himself from…himself.

"Yes. You can’t." Wayne spoke in a low voice, as he turned the knob to search for that perfect tone of the string he was tuning then. "Like I said, one day, you’ll be out of breath. By then, it could be too late."

Too late. I’m still here. I’m still catching another breath. I’m still here.

But you’re not here Vanessa. I thought of love….

Did you think of love? Was my love not enough for you then? Or…

He purged those thoughts away from his mind and tired to concentrate instead on his strides; his breathing. Concentrate. Concentrate on the pounding of his heart until the world was empty but for him and the air that he stirred in his passing. It was very early in the morning. He had devised of ways to break away from the habits that he had acquired in his depression. A depression that still enfolded him in its muscular arms, keeping him a prisoner- a prisoner who was slowly becoming more and more defiant. He would force himself to wake up at seven and start to just run. He would not oversleep. He would try to be less reliant on caffeine pills.

The cross- together with a diamond ring and a melted bunch of keys- hanging around his neck was flung to-and-fro its equilibrium position from his strong strides. Feeling the need to remind himself that he should never sink willfully into the depths again, he gripped it with one hand tightly. Someone had given it to him, someone who was not afraid to approach him, despite the wall he had erected around himself. Someone else- besides Frank.

Then he felt the other two mementos and he squeezed his eyes tightly shut for a brief spell.

"And with this cross that I give to you, I hope it reminds you that we each have our own crosses to carry, trials to bear. But know that no matter how heavy the cross is, how it seemed to cut into your shoulders as you heave it up, you never carry it alone. And the cross is to be carried with a hopeful heart- a smiling heart- knowing that at the end, it would help us grow and strengthen us. It’s how we deal with the cross that counts most. And always remember that there’s this beautiful, bright light at the end of every tunnel."

She had not asked me any questions. Just gave me the cross, wore it for me even. Then we talked about many things. Many, many things.

Crazy Mina. My friend. Mina.

He turned into the bend that would lead him to the campus gate that was the one closest to his hostel block. As he approached the gate, he saw someone standing there- the petite girl who had given him a closure of sorts for Vanessa’s death.

Her silky black hair flirted with her waist and without her turning around, Joe could picture her face very clearly in his mind. Large, innocent gray eyes- that were also pensive and mature- were windows to a very beautiful and strange soul. Her skin was porcelain fair and her cheeks were tinged slightly with a healthy pink. Having a mixed-heritage really did her features wonders.

In short, she was stunning in that enigmatic, exotic manner.

But, in his mind, he told himself that he was not interested. Even if he was, he would never let himself fall. He was only looking out for her, the last link he had with Vanessa. He slowed his pace as he neared- his body needed to prepare to come to a halt.

And his ugly scarred right hand fell to his side, clenched gently into a fist, almost like he was holding to someone’s hand. Catching himself, he released the fingers and snapped himself out of the trance. There he was, still in the days that had long passed. Still grasping at the specter of her tender, smooth hand with his that was so very rough now- only to be grabbing air that would not stay.

Mina must have heard his footfalls behind her as she turned around and threw him that serious smile of hers. They had gotten closer the past two weeks as Mina helped him to cope with his grief. She read him passages from the Bible and passages from his notes. He would be totally lost in his modules had she not, even though she was a new student, tutored him conscientiously during the breaks they shared. Her soft, kind nature gave him repose and he liked to have her around.

Frank had confessed that he had been afraid that Joe would go mental at the sight of Mina. However, Joe had assured him that he was over the phase where he had briefly thought that Mina was a witch who had arrogated Vanessa’s eyes for herself.

"I’m really ok, Frank…I’m not a kid. I can discern for myself between her eyes and Vanessa’s…if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m not going to gouge her eyes out or anything…"

"I’m more worried about…never mind." Frank shook his head. He was always censoring himself when he spoke to Joe. Frankly-pun intended- speaking, Joe sometimes felt like he was asphyxiating from Frank’s over-protection and thus, in a way, he sought revenge on Maggie by creating for a her a list of a hundred and one things she could not do…which he never really kept check anyway.

Joe gave his brother a reassuring smile to calm those big-brother’s instincts which were on super-alert mode. "I’m really ok."

"I hope so." Frank spoke through slanted lips gave him a look with a raised brow that told Joe he was not convinced at all.

Not even a wee bit.

Neither am I. But I’m trying…right?

What did Frank say? Think of love? Yup. Think of those I love, those who love me, those who love me but I may not know them yet.

Think of the good things that would surely come my way if I wait and let them materialize.

Thinking of them makes me stronger.

He smiled at her in response and pushed a lock of sweaty blond fringe that was stinging his eyes behind his ears, mentally reminding himself that it was time for a hair cut or he would look like a shaggy dog or worse- a girl. Coming to a slow stop, he did the necessary cooling down.

Mina waited for Joe to finish. She waited for Joe catch his breath while he clutched his sides. She waited for him to swipe away the beads of sweat on his forehead before they could trickle down to smart his eyes.

She seems like she has been waiting for me all her life…

In a sweet, aching way, the thought tugged at his heartstrings and he felt a subtle glow diffusing all over his inner being. It was like for a few seconds, a brief spell of long-awaited sweet summer’s shower had washed away some of his darkness. In the short span of time that he had known Mina, he had seen pure goodness and wisdom that spoke to the heart, rather than the mind. Mina reminded Joe of the kind of innocence that would never be tainted because she made the choice to remain all pure- all good.

And her innocence would remain as long as her choice never changed.

Joe pressed a palm against his chest, which was heaving painfully up and down. She let out a gentle laughter when he gestured for her to just wait for a while more. If it hurt to breathe, it would definitely hurt to talk.

"Ready?" She stood there, anticipating. Joe was suddenly struck by the knowledge as to why she waited. He had a lecture. He had forgotten all about his lecture and he was taking the lecture with her. Mina slightly resembled a diminutive female version of Frank. She had taken it upon herself to make sure Joe did not skip his lectures; that he did not oversleep. She even raided the mini-fridge that was in his dorm room to rid it of all alcoholic substances to which Shane cried "robbery" and Joe simply shrugged. She was not looking out only for him. When she could, she would extend a helping out to others as well. Recently, she had just passed Shane an address to an AA meeting that was conducted by one of the members from the congregation of the small Catholic Church community in Bayport that had just adopted a new "parishioner"- her.

He felt strangely relieved that she was not exactly waiting for him- not in that romantic way he had undeservingly imagined. Because if she had, he would tell her without delay that she had not missed the bus- that the bus would never arrive.

"Yah. Give me twenty minutes…need to wash up and stuff, can’t go into lectures stinking and dripping of sweat." He let out a huge breath. "I’ll never push myself so hard again...I think I’m a masochist," he added after a split-second reflection.

"Alright. Twenty minutes. Lecture starts in forty minutes and I know…just know that you have not even packed for it yet." Mina twisted her lips in disapproval when Joe gave her a shamed-faced grin.

"Erm…young lady…I think I’m a little scared of you…you sure you ain’t psychic?" He tried to laugh it off. Truth was, if Mina had not been reminding him of his classes for the past two weeks, he would have forgotten to attend a hundred percent of his lectures.

Sheesh, she and Frank would make a great match…hmm... yah…Frank….

Mina slugged him slightly and broke into a very sweet smile- touching his heart because all was forgiven. "No. I’m not psychic. I just have a good feeling…gut feeling."

She and Frank. Gut feelings, what do you all say? Good? No good?

Of course it will be good.

"Ok, ok…hey Mina…interested in catching a movie?"

Her eyes flashed and she smiled shakily, almost shyly. Suddenly, he was feeling very uncomfortable about the spur-of-the-moment idea that he had. The tickets were already bought but he had intended to catch it with Frank who had just got his heart broken; a small little treat to distract his brother from Callie. Now, there was this drastic change in plans.

But he had to because of her smile. She needed to fall in love with someone else. Someone much better than him, someone with not so many knots in his heart, no horrible past.

No screwed up life.

A breeze blew then and caressed him. He remembered Vanessa.

Someone not still in love with the dead.