The Second Trial: After the Bail was Made

"There isn’t a need to try so hard." Joe first words when they reached home were depressingly bleak. Frank put an arm around him only to have Joe shook it away roughly.

This is not the first time Frank had tried to give his brother comfort. He had endeavored so many times until he is so tired and hurting inside, like someone had grabbed hold of his pounding heart and pinched it, twisted it.

I don’t know why he’s pushing me away.

"You’re my son. I’m not giving up. Why should you?" Fenton looked deep into his younger son’s eyes as he opened the car door for Joe who had seemed to want to remain where he was forever. Joe stepped out reluctantly, ignoring his father.

"Why why why why why…" His mantra was derisive, dripping with sarcasm. "Why…"

Frank had it. Joe had refused to talk to them, refused to thank them when he was out on bail and now, he was being rude for no apparent reason. Though he knew Joe was going through an ordeal that Frank was rebuffed in his sincere attempts to understand, Frank was fired up, more at frustration in himself than at Joe.

"Enough! Wake up damn you! Do you really want to spend the rest of your life in there? We got you out and busted our ass in doing so! The least you can do is show a minute grain of appreciation!"

Joe’s eyes glazed over. Chastised, he mumbled an apology while starring at the ground. Guilt too gnawed at Frank. He knew Joe must be in depression and could not really climb out of it that easily. Life used to be wonderful, but somehow, it escalated into a monstrous hell that Joe and Frank had not been able to handle, leaving them exhausted, leaving Joe in prison and Vanessa dead.

Leaving me to pick up the pieces for everyone.

"I’m sorry too baby bro." Frank tried to reach Joe again, only this time, it was with words. "You must know we love you so much…"

Joe nodded, smiling lethargically as he did so and though it was a smile that was alien to Frank, it was a smile nonetheless and he tried to return Joe with the warmest one he got but he felt too drain to do so.

For the past few days, he and Fenton had been running all over town in search of money to bail Joe. It was to the bank and back almost every waking hour. And knowing the case could be dragged for a long time, Frank took up a scholarship offered to him long ago and it decided his future as a lawyer, which might not be a bad thing actually. The first bail they had to come up for Joe had already depleted much of their financial resources. The second bail was even harder to raise.

But they did, after borrowing a huge sum of money from Laura’s brother whom Fenton could not stand, Patrick.

Fenton threw worried glances over at the two brothers who were lagging behind him. Before he could unlock the door of their house, Laura and Maggie threw the door open and jumped on Fenton, hugging him and kissing him.

"Oh…you’re all back!!!! All back…" His mother proclaimed like the three men in her lives had just returned safe and sound from Vietnam War. Frank cringed as he saw Joe’s eyes widened in absolute horror as he recoiled from his mother’s and sister’s innocent display of affections. Laura pulled her embrace away before hesitantly greeting her son, her baby.

"Oh Joe…honey…"

"Mom, I’m back." Joe mumbled but his voice was cracking. Laura resisted all defenses Joe put up and pulled her son into an embrace again, though not as tightly as before.

"My baby."

And I watched Joe stiffened. While he did allow Mom to hug him, he kept his hands tightly down his side, not returning the affection at all. 

***

Present Time

Frank felt Callie slipped a hand around his waist as he packed his books into his locker, preparing to return home. Joe’s case had left the family a little hard for money for a while before bail was paid back to them thus Frank decided to travel the cold, lonely road home instead of spending extra to stay in the dorm. Now that he wanted to go back to the dorm, there was no more space and he was put on the waiting list. Sure, he did miss out a lot on college life but he gained more as well. He could be with his mom and dad. His sister and brother could have the freedom to enjoy college life fully. They both deserved it.

Instantly, he felt at ease because Callie was his sunshine, bringing him the much needed rays of warmth to melt his jaded heart that was growing colder and colder by the days. There were rumors circulating about Callie but Frank had faith in her; chose to side with her. Bottom-line was- Frank loved her. And he knew she was getting so much flake only because she was popular, and very pretty. People do get jealous all the time.

And because she’s mine. Hey, I got to boost my own morale as well!

Soon Cal, I will have saved enough for that ring.

"So how’s my hero? Did well in your test?"

Frank shook his head. He knew he had given a fantastic answer as he was intellectually inclined but Joe’s dark answer, probably done as a prank, was unsettling him. Thinking about the test made him realized how much untold pain there must be in Joe. So much and Frank had not a single clue.

But I knew it all along. I know…I just wish he will open up to me more.

"All I know is that I’ll never say that Joe takes all the mickeys…this one is tough. I wondered why he picked it."

Callie gave him a quick kiss on his cheeks and smiled into his eyes, her own green eyes sparkling with bubbly effervescence. She was always so happy and he was gratified that at least someone dear to him was blessed with that elusive thing called joy.

"Don’t worry. You’ll ace it. It won’t ruin your chances of becoming valedictorian…" Callie teased him and led him away from the hallway to the cafeteria.

Callie was right. Frank was going to graduate soon with top honors and if everything turned out well, he would be doing a Master directly with Harvard Law as soon as he graduated from his accelerated course. He was actually accepted into Harvard already but he transferred back to UB just to be close to Joe, to keep an eye on Joe and to lend Joe support.

Some of his more detached friends in Harvard had told him that he was throwing his future away but they could not understand. His brother needed him, his family needed him. Besides, UB had a very established and recognized Law Faculty. Not as impressive as Harvard, hardly even close to the prestige, but it was more relax, and much more familiar. The company sponsoring his study agreed to the switch as well.

If I had been a lawyer earlier, I could be up there defending Joe, shielding him.

But even now, I still have a long way more to go.

His father had been shocked that none of his sons chose Criminology. Joe had sarcastically replied that they were already experts in it. Frank’s reason was more practical. He was headhunted and offered a scholarship by Ervin and Partners, one of the top law firms in America. Having an interest in law he took it. He could always pursue Criminology on a separate track though it could take him a longer time. Yet, he had all the time in the world to do what he wanted, he only needed to do his best.

"I don’t know…" Frank absentmindedly replied. He was not really listening to Callie, just enjoying the feel of her arms around him, loving her softness and smoothness, knowing that he was still blessed because he still had her around.

And he does not have Vanessa anymore.

"Don’t think too much. You can always opt out now right? There’s still time and you don’t really need to do it…you are exempted for the accelerated course…"

"Callie, I only have two more semesters more to go before I graduate. If I don’t do something with Joe, I might never have the chance to and he’ll be gone from my life forever. He’s shutting everyone out and I can’t get to him." Words, frustrated words. The anxiety behind the words was masked by a dull monotone.

However, Callie understood. But she had no words of comfort to give Frank, knowing Frank did what he had to do. No matter what she said, it would not change Joe who was the real cause of his stress and moodiness anyway. But her touch was enough. A touch conveyed more love than mere words could.

"Vanessa’s cousin is transferring over here as well, first year. She’ll also be in the Social Sciences Faculty like Joe. Andrea is very happy that Mina decided to pursue her studies here. She’s almost like a daughter to Andrea, after Vanessa…" Callie’s voice trailed off, the wounds were still rather fresh. It had only been a year after all and it was not so much that Vanessa died but the way she died, which was a closed case to most with a bitter taste in their mouth.

It was a close case to Frank as well, because he no longer had the energy to pursue it anymore. Neither did Joe, who spent his time with gigs, getting drunk occasionally or sleeping.

He’s sober though. Sober for two whole months.

Frank frowned. Anything related to Vanessa might not be a good thing to reveal to Joe. However, it was only a matter of time before Joe would come to know Mina. Frank prayed by that time, Joe would have healed somewhat from his pain, though it was pretty impossible. Joe did not seem to want to recover.

He prayed hard because they had all seen Mina before from photographs that Andrea passed to Callie. Though Mina was of mixed heritage, Chinese and Caucasian, she shared a trait with her late cousin. They both had the same large, intense grey eyes that spoke volumes. Large intense grey eyes that Joe actually penned poems for in his carefree days.

Eyes that would remind him, and throw him overboard once again in that ravine of torment.