PRESENT

"This is nice. Even though it’s a Monday night. I haven’t been with you alone for a long long time…" Callie whispered in her official boyfriend’s ear. Frank had drove her up to Lovers’ Point, a hilltop overlooking a river*. Nothing Man could create could be as beautiful as the canvas Nature painted. In its simplicity, Callie found beauty and majesty.

She had cajoled her tired boyfriend to bring her up there because she wanted to regain that closeness with him. Before she broke the news, she wanted to know if Frank and her still stood a chance. Five years of relationship was something very difficult to let go off.

And besides, she could not lie to herself. If only Frank would see, would understand her need for him to sometimes put her as his main concern, she would return to him in an instant and Randy would only be a sidetrack, a secret she would keep for the rest of her life.

Sometimes. I’m not asking for all the time. Once a week would be good enough. Make one day ‘Callie’s Day.’

"Hmm…" He mumbled, staring with sleepy eyes out of the windscreen. The windows were rolled down and Callie was feeling a little chilled. A soft gust of wind had found the gaps the open windows made in the old Ford Mustang that Frank drove. She shuddered. He did not even noticed.

"You’re tired right? I shouldn’t have dragged you out for dinner." Callie knew it was not going to be the scenario she had hoped for. Not the one where Frank would somehow make everything alright again. She had no idea what magic he could weave to salvage the wreckage that he probably had no idea was there.

But she wanted him to weave some spell, any spell. Flicked a magic wand and make it all better, perform some enchantment to keep her spellbound.

Wanted him to just treat her like the center of his world for one moment.

She turned and reached behind for her jacket which she always left in his car, not wanting to give

him any more chances to be caring as she was freezing. Dinner had been terrible. Frank came to her after she called him like a bunny running on Duracell battery but she knew it was only a caffeine trip he was taking. Slowly throughout dinner, he became less and less focus, distracted with something that he could not even give her a hint about.

Stupid you. Your girlfriend’s running away and you can’t see…she’s giving you one final chance and you can’t see.

You never do when it comes to me. You’ll only say sorry; thank you... But lately, you’ve never said ‘I love you’.

"Huh? Oh…no Cal…I’m sorry. I just have quite a lot on my mind…the papers, the thesis…and…" his answer trailed off and he sighed. Pushing the back of his seat down, he tried to relax a little by closing his eyes. "You’re right. I’m tired. So tired I can sleep now and not wake up until the next morning."

Arghhhh!!!!!!!

"And what?" Callie was sharp. Frank was not going to get away so easily, whether he was tired or not.

He turned to her and smiled without mirth. "Nothing Callie. Some…"

"Joe?" Seeing his expression turning instantly troubled, she knew she had hit jackpot. No. She could not be understanding when she needed for him to only think of her then. Randy’s face flashed in her mind. She was so tempted to drop the bombshell, let the split that was occurring secretly be final and out in the open.

So he can finally see.

Love can be selfish. I am selfish. So jealous of his time. So very jealous.

Frank kept quiet and closed his eyes again, hands crossed behind his head. Callie pouted, tears welling in her eyes. It was inevitable. Frank might say it was unfair but he had been unfair to her for so long.

Franklin Jeremiah Hardy…I love you.

And I hate you too.

"It’s Vanessa. He wants to find Vanessa’s real killer." Frank spoke in measured tones, a sure sign, if anyone knew him well enough, that he was censoring his own words. Even exhaustion could not get Frank to not watch what he was saying.

"I thought the case was close? Suicide right?"

"No, probable suicide. I don’t want to talk about it now Callie…when I get some stuff settled and can finally concentrate on the case, I’ll update you." He opened his eyes sleepily and smiled weakly at her. She returned with a dour one of her own and he looked like he was being slapped.

And so you decide. All the time it’s you who decide. When will you concentrate on me huh? When?!

Vanessa’s killer. Yeah right. Everyone with brains knows Joe’s just…

How can I compete with his mad brother?

"You’re angry?"

"No, I’m as happy as can be." She almost snarled at him. "Send me home Frank. You obviously need to sleep."

***

Frank watched as Callie stalked away from his car to her front door. He had wanted to send her to the door but she refused. In fact, she did not even say goodbye. He could not blame her, the date had been awful and it was his fault.

I’m taking on too much. I think I’m reaching danger zone…

Probability of meltdown: Extremely High.

He wanted so much to just hold her and feel his worries ebbing away but this time, he could not confide in her. Yes, telling her about Joe’s quest was not that difficult, in fact, she might even be able to help, being close to Vanessa and all.

It was the other secret, the one his Dad had sworn him to secrecy so he could not reveal. It was that secret that was killing him.

I don’t think I can keep it for long. How did Joe keep it from us for almost a year?

Maybe he just pretended it did not happen. Or maybe he’s too busy grieving that he had no time to think about it.

No, that’s not right. He’s afraid to think about it. Grieving for Vanessa excessively, refusing to let go of her death keeps him from having to deal with something too unbelievable, too cruel.

Maybe next week things might be better. Maybe next weekend he would have more time to be with Callie. After the submission of his two papers and his meeting with his thesis supervisor were over and done with- he would have more time.

And he would love her as much as he could, more than he could. She deserved it, being so wonderful to him after all these years; sticking close to him, not letting tragedies after tragedies break them apart.

I love you Callie. I promise you…next week, I will not doze off.

He drove home, a little worried he might not make it back safely because driving while one’s system was close to a complete shutdown is a dangerous thing to do. Someone must had been praying for him- he made it back in one piece after almost knocking into a tree and running two red lights accidentally.

However, when he reached his room, he could not sleep. He could feel his body shutting down except that his eyes were opened and it was always in the soundless night that his mind would churn out those dreadful thoughts that would keep him awake until the sun peeked from the clouds.

I should meet up with Joe. Update him. Let him know about the case progress, which is not moving forward at all. I’m still stuck.

But I’ve got to ask him about the Tree House. What he said, what they did. I have to know in full details..

Phil’s silent accusations hit Frank then. He was not lying to Phil when he told him he had thought of all possible scenarios. He did. For many nights, he had thought about nothing but those scenarios.

Joe. In rage.

Vanessa. In pain.

One or the other. One or the other.

***

"Hey…not sleeping?" Frank’s voice traveled over the radio waves to disturb Joe from his slumber. It was already one a.m. Frank could not fault him for sleeping.

"Nonono…I’m still sleeping…and your phone call is only a dream…no… a nightmare…" Joe mumbled sarcastically over the phone.

"There’s no need to be so caustic. I just want to have lunch with my brother tomorrow, alright?"

"You have a sister. Have you forgotten you may want to spend some time with her as well?"

"I have lunch with her very often. But not with you. Besides, there’s something I want to inform you about. You have no classes from one p.m to three p.m tomorrow, so let’s make it one thirty, your faculty’s cafeteria." Frank’s tone was firm. Years of being his little brother taught Joe that whatever he said to reject Frank’s lunch-date would be futile. Frank would get his way this time.

Joe eyelids drooped heavily, he just wanted to sleep then. He wished Frank would just send him an email or something if he had anything he wanted to inform Joe about.

Wait. It could be about Vanessa! But…

Who am I kidding? Vanessa did kill herself. And I have to live with that knowledge. Chasing after non-existent killers will not solve my problem.

"Alright. One-thirty. Bye." He disconnected before Frank could even say goodbye. One a.m. Only Frank had the audacity to call him at one a.m.

We are both always tired. But while I am perpetually drowsy, he’s a chronic insomniac.

And that does not make two very good partners.