Vanessa waited with bated breath, her heart pounding so hard it felt like it was about to burst. She pressed the doorbell again. Again Vanessa waited, but still no one came to answer the door. She didn't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed or angry. She had tried calling Joe last night but Frank told her he was sleeping. Though Frank had no reason to lie to her, she felt as if Frank had not told her the truth. Why is Joe still avoiding me? Vanessa couldn't help wondering.

Disgusted, Vanessa turned around and was about to leave when she heard the lock unlatched, a little surprised to see the door creaking open a little. Somebody was home after all.

"Joe?"

"What are you doing here, Vanessa?" Joe asked, only one blue eye visible from behind the door.

"Joe, I need to talk to you," she said, desperation tingeing her voice.

"There's nothing to talk about." Joe's voice sounded pained. "Go away. I don't want to see you."

"Please, Joe, just for a little while," she pleaded. Joe was still not relenting. Angered now, Joe tried to push the door close but Vanessa quickly shot her hand out, bracing her feet on the ground.

"Don't you dare slam the door in my face, Joe Hardy!" She snapped, her face flushed with anger.

"Vanessa, you're pushing it!" Joe barked, still trying to close the door but it was a weak fight. He himself was barely able to stand, much less stood a chance in winning the fight. "I told you I don't want to see you!"

"Why?" With a sudden burst of energy, Vanessa pushed the door open with all her might. Joe was thrown backward, slamming into the back of the couch. "Why won't you talk to me?" She marched angrily into the house and stood in front of Joe. She was about to go on with her angry tirade when she suddenly froze.

"Oh my God," she breathed out, reaching out to touch Joe's face. It was much too pale, and to her concern, it was marred with fresh tear streaks. Joe flinched, gasping a little.

"Don't-touch me, Vanessa," he whispered hoarsely. He began to tremble. He had been in terrible pain and still was. But when he saw who was at the door as he peeked out the window over his head, as if on autopilot, he had dragged himself out of bed, and with strenuous effort, made his way slowly down the stairs. Looking at her now, her beautiful face stricken with concern and worry, Joe realized how much he missed her. As if spent, Joe slowly sank to the floor, leaning against the back of the couch.

"Oh Joe," Vanessa cried out softly as she knelt down in front of him. "Are you alright?" Joe weakly tried to push her hand away but stubbornly she kept her grip on his arm, gentle but strong. Don't touch me, Vanessa, he pleaded silently. Please. I'm dirty.

Joe closed his eyes and let himself drown in her scent, the sweet-smelling scent of Vanessa. He loved her so. He could feel Vanessa touching him, running her hand through his mussed hair, stroking his cheek...A lump rose in his throat. She'd never stopped loving me...

"I'm sorry, Vanessa, I am so, so sorry..." he cried, his voice breaking, his blue eyes glistening with tears. "It's not that I don't want to be with you anymore-" he choked.

"Shh, Joe, it's okay," Vanessa said soothingly. Joe looked up to her, awed by this vision in front of him. There was so much tenderness in her eyes, so much warmth, so much LOVE...

"I love you, Joe." Joe's eyes went wide. "I never stopped loving you." Vanessa sounded so sincere Joe couldn't help staring at her in shock. His face crumpled.

"No, please don't say that," Joe pleaded. The pain that had dulled into a dull ache just now had returned with a vengeance but Joe tried to hide it from Vanessa. But he couldn't help an involuntary groan when a sharp pain hit him and he doubled-over in agony.

Alarmed, Vanessa rushed to his side and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, helping him to sit up. Joe shuddered as the pain left him as suddenly as it had come. He turned his pale, sweaty face away from her.

"You can't love me, Van. Just look at me. I can't give you anything," Joe cried. "I won't be able to make you happy..."

"I'm happy just being with you, Joe," she said gently, pulling him close to her. "We'll get through this. You and me."

Joe couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Y-You still want to be with me? After all that's happened?"

"It didn't change who you are."

"But it did...I'm no longer the guy you knew, Van."

"Yes, you are. You are still the Joe Hardy I know and LOVE." She put more emphasis on the word, boring her eyes straight into Joe's. Joe felt a rush of deja-vu when he heard those words. Frank had said the exact same words. He didn't realize that a lot of people still had that much faith in him.

"But I'm not strong enough for this-"

"Yes, you are. You just need to believe in yourself." Joe looked so scared, so helpless, it broke Vanessa's heart just looking at him.

"I-I miss you, Vanessa." A rush of happiness coursed through her. Joe still loves me, she realized. He has never stopped loving me. "I love you."

"Ditto." Vanessa grinned. She brought her face forward like she always did when she wanted to kiss him, but Joe pushed her away.

"No." More than a little hurt, Vanessa frowned. "What's the matter, Joe?"

"I have HIV, Van. And cancer."

"I know." To hear it from Joe's own mouth hurt her more that she would have liked. She cupped Joe's face in both her hands, and forced him to look at her. "But that doesn't make me love you less. I don't love you because you were the hottest guy in school or because you were the star football player or because you have the coolest van in the whole of Bayport. I don't give a damn about that. I love you because you're-you. Just because you're not a hunk anymore-" Vanessa hesitated. Joe was all bones now, she'd felt it when she held him. "-that doesn't change who you are inside."

For a long moment, Joe stared at her. Then he smiled. Vanessa felt as if she was looking at the old Joe. Hell, it's the SAME Joe, she thought as she smiled too. And he's MY Joe. Then, they shared a long, sweet kiss.

 

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. Time sure flies fast, Frank couldn't help thinking, looking at all the happy faces around him. To his satisfaction, Joe looked happy too, although he looked a little white and ill. Frank had a hard time trying to eat his dinner, his eyes stinging every time he looked at Joe's plate. A bowl of soup and a few light crackers. Those were the only things that Joe could eat now. Anything heavier and he would throw it back up.

"What was the joke again?" Joe asked, his thin frame still racking with laughter from the previous one.

"You mean, the joke about the lawyer?" their father asked affectionately, looking at his younger son. Joe nodded eagerly.

"Well, you see there was this lawyer back in the Fifties and he was defending this man accused of murdering his wife. While he was cross-examining the guy's neighbor, this neighbor kept answering his answers, like, if the question was, did you actually see him in the car when he drove back home the night of the murder, and he would answer, I think I did see him, or if the question was did you actually see the defendant enter the bedroom from your window, he would answer, yes, I think I did see him through my window. At last the lawyer got so fed-up, he told the guy to stop thinking, and just answer what he knew." Fenton paused long enough to catch his breath.

"And?" Joe pressed, already giggling at the punch-line he knew was coming.

"The neighbor answered, 'excuse me, but I'm not a lawyer so I can't speak without thinking first'!" Joe immediately burst into peals of laughter. Frank shook his head, smiling a little in amusement. He didn't know what was so funny about the joke; their father had told it a hundred times before but still Joe would break into laughter every time he heard it.

"Alright, guys, enough with this laughter. Joe, finish your soup and I want you to go straight to bed. You look tired," Laura broke in, smiling a little herself.

"Aww, Mom..." Joe started to protest.

"Don't aww Mom me," Laura interrupted before Joe could say anything more. She turned to her other son. "And you Frank, why aren't you eating?"

"Who says I'm not?" To prove this, Frank forced himself to shovel more of the food in his mouth. His mom's honey-roasted chicken was the best in the whole country but tonight, it tasted like cardboard in his mouth. He knew everyone else had noticed it, not just his mom. Joe looked more than tired, and though he was laughing a lot, Frank knew it was because Joe wanted to hide his pain. His sharp eyes didn't miss it when Joe froze every few minutes, his eyes closed as if in pain. Frank made a mental note to get a hot-water bottle up to Joe after dinner. It might help him a bit, he thought as he concentrated on finishing his dinner, though eating was the last thing Frank wanted to do now.

 

"Hey, you okay?" Vanessa asked worriedly at lunch the next day. Joe was unusually quiet in class today. Ever since Joe returned to school, everyone had been nice to him, and even the principal voiced out his personal support to Joe. Joe sometimes had bad days, and though he'd missed a few school days already, all his teachers fortunately understood.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Joe lied. He didn't want to worry Vanessa, knowing that she'd done enough worrying to last her a lifetime. He was not feeling well at all; he'd been throwing up since morning and he was running a slight fever.

Vanessa frowned. "You wanna go sit down somewhere?" She couldn't help feeling alarmed; Joe looked really sick to her. Joe nodded wordlessly, and Vanessa took his wrist, aware of how hot his skin felt as she led him to a nearby bench. Joe immediately hunched forward and buried his face in his hands. Several people passed by and looked at them curiously, offering them sympathetic smiles when they recognized her. Vanessa smiled back wanly and immediately turned back to Joe.

"I'll be right back. You just stay here, okay?" Joe nodded again.

The next thing Joe knew, he was sitting in the van, Frank beside him, looking concerned. He knew this was coming. Frank was taking him home.

I hate this, Joe thought in misery, looking out the window at the passing houses and trees. He swallowed hard, closing his eyes and opening them again, but no matter how much he blinked, he couldn't stop his eyes from watering. He hated being sick. He hated not being able to do the things he loved, like playing football. Now he even longed to stay all throughout Mrs. Garrett's boring history class or finishing one of Mr. Anderson's hateful Chem experiments without going to the bathroom every fifteen minutes to throw up. Miserable, Joe squeezed his eyes shut and leaned his head back against the headrest, hoping Frank wouldn't see the tears at the corners of his eyes. I want this to be over.

 

Joe was dreaming. At least he thought he was dreaming. He was in a dark place, everything was pitch-black and he couldn't see a thing. He couldn't even see the ground he was standing on.

"Hello?" Joe called out uncertainly. Where am I? He thought. This is stupid. Come on, Joe, wake up.

"Joe." Joe whirled around, squinting in the darkness. Black pea soup, nothing but black pea soup. Who said that?

"Joe." There it was again. It was a girl's voice, sweet and husky. He'd heard that voice before. Joe's heart beat faster as he racked his brains, trying to come up with a name to match with that voice. That voice. He knew that voice. No, it can't be...he thought. Now he knew he was dreaming. There was no way he could hear her voice if he weren't, because the owner of that voice was dead.

"Iola?" Joe whispered, reaching out to the darkness around him. "Iola, is that you?"

Then Joe nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He whirled around, feeling his knees instantly go weak.

She stood in front of him, smiling sweetly. Her long dark hair was tied back with a ribbon and she was wearing a dress of some kind, a pure, white dress. She looked exactly the way Joe remembered her.

"Soon, my darling, soon." Frozen, Joe stared into her mesmerizing brown eyes. He couldn't move, his feet felt rooted to the ground. Joe didn't realize he had missed her so much until she was standing in front of him.

"What?" he whispered. "Iola, what are you saying?"

Iola frowned a little, her head turned sideways as if she was listening intently to something. Then she looked back at Joe. She gave him one last smile, sad and wistful, before turning and vanishing into the darkness.

"Iola?" Don't go, Joe pleaded. Come back, Iola.

 

"Joe!!" Frank shook his brother's shoulder gently. "Joe, wake up. You're dreaming."

Joe's eyes flickered open. Then he abruptly sat up. "It was all a dream?"

"Yeah." Frank studied his brother closely. He'd gone back to school after sending Joe home and at first, was relieved to find him still sleeping when he came back, alarm instantly replacing relief when Joe started thrashing and muttering in his sleep, so loud Frank could hear him from his room.

"Are you alright?" Frank asked worriedly. "Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine. The pain is gone," Joe answered distractedly. What was that all about? He wondered as he lay back on his bed. He lay a hand against his chest. His heart was still pounding like a freight train. He shuddered as he pictured Iola again. She looked so beautiful in the dream. And she was trying to tell me something. Joe closed his eyes, struggling to remember what she had said. His eyes flew open when the meanings of Iola's words hit him. Could it be-?

 

"You seem quiet tonight. Something wrong?" Vanessa asked. Joe was sitting up in bed and she was lying on the bed, her head in Joe's lap. She was glad she decided to come and visit, Joe was looking much, much better.

"Nothing. Just have a lot on my mind." Joe smiled serenely down at her.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Vanessa lifted her head and sat up, crossing her long legs as she faced her boyfriend. Joe shook his head, the little smile still playing on his lips.

"Just thinking how beautiful you are." Vanessa raised her eyebrows.

"Really?" She asked coyly, crossing an arm across her chest and tapped a finger against her lips, a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Don't believe me?"

"Of course I do," Vanessa answered softly. Staring at her intensely, Joe reached out an arm. Without hesitating, she went to his arms and lay her head on his chest. A lump rose in her throat as she listened to Joe's heartbeats.

"Vanessa?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you promise me something?"

"Sure. Anything." Vanessa lifted up her head. Joe's normally bright blue eyes were cloudy and- Vanessa couldn't place her finger on it but was that fear she saw in his eyes? "Joe, what's the matter?"

"Promise me, Van, that if something happened to us, if something happened to me-" Joe's voice trailed off. Vanessa froze, dread and anticipation sending a chill down her back. "Promise me you'll go on-"

"Joe, what are you saying?"

"However bad things may be, I want you to be strong, and remember that no matter what happens, just remember that I will always love you," Joe finished, a haunted look in his eyes.

"Joe, stop saying such things!" Vanessa reprimanded him, lightly slapping his arm. But Joe remained dead serious. "Promise me, Vanessa."

"I-I promise." A lump rose again in her throat. Though she tried to convince herself that Joe didn't mean anything by those strange words, but deep down she knew what Joe was thinking. No, she told herself. Don't you dare think about it, Vanessa. It's not going to happen. Pushing all the terrible thoughts away, Vanessa reached out a hand and stabbed on a button on Joe's stereo. Music instantly blared out.

"Let's hear some music," Vanessa said, smiling nervously. But her smile vanished when she heard what was being played on the radio. There was no mistaking it. She had watched the movie over and over again with Joe and she knew all the songs by heart.

Never knew I could feel like this...

Like I've never seen the sky before...

Want to vanish inside your kiss...

Everyday I love you more and more...

Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing...

Telling me to give you everything...

Seasons may change, winter to spring…

But I love you, until the end of time...

"The secret song?" Joe asked knowingly. Vanessa nodded numbly. It was the secret song from the Moulin Rouge, the song that the hero and heroine sang together every time something stood in their way, which in the movie was that bloody Duke. There was no mistaking Ewan McGregor's deep, steady voice. And she knew she would be hearing Nicole Kidman's sweet, high-pitched voice next. No, please, not this song...

Come what may...

Come what may...

I will love you....

Until my dying day...

Joe rose slowly. He moved to the middle of the room and stood there, just looking at her.

Suddenly Vanessa knew what he wanted. She rose and slowly went to him.

And there's no mountain too high...

No river too wide...

Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side...

Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide...

But I love you... Until the end of time...

Together, they swayed slowly from side to side, both lost in the music and lost in each other's arms. Vanessa couldn't help feeling that this was the last dance she was going to dance with Joe. No, she thought numbly. She closed her eyes, and lay her head on his chest.

Come what may...

Come what may...

I will love you....

Until my dying day...

Joe was singing softly in her ear. Tears rose in her eyes, for the first time, understanding the real meaning of the words.

"Come what may, Vanessa," Joe whispered huskily. Vanessa drew her head back and looked up. I will love you, his eyes said. I will love you forever.

Vanessa started sobbing quietly and buried her face into his chest. "I love you too, Joe."