Past the point of no return – no backward glances:

The games we've played till now are at an end...

Past all thought of "if and "when" -- no use resisting:

Abandon thought, and let the dream descend...

What raging fire shall flood the soul?

What rich desire unlocks its door?

What sweet seduction lies before us

Past the point of no return – the final threshold –

What warm, unspoken secrets will we learn?

Beyond the point of no return...

When will the blood begin to race

The sleeping bud burst into bloom?

When will the flames at last—

Consume us…

Past the point of no return --the final threshold,

The bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn…

We’ve passed the point of no return…

Excerpts: Point Of No Return, Act 2 Scene 7, the Phantom of the Opera

Frank sat numbly on his bed, his legs brought up close to his chest. Resting his chin on his knees, he closed his eyes as a single tear seeped through the corner of his eye, trailing down his cheek.

"HIV-positive doesn't mean I have AIDS, Frank."

Frank was tired of crying.

"I don't want my illness to change how things are around us, Frank. I don't want it to change how you feel about me."

Silly boy, Frank thought, a tiny, humorless smile playing across his lips. Nothing would change how I feel about you, little brother, he thought as he remembered how small Joe had looked, how frightened he seemed when he told Frank about his condition. Joe's terrified, Frank realized. Underneath all that bravado, he's actually a very scared, helpless 17 year-old boy.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Frank. Things are going to get very bad, especially for me. And I-" Joe had hesitated. "I need you. I can't go through this alone."

It's not fair, Frank thought angrily, his heart aching as he buried his head in his hands. No wonder Joe refused to see Vanessa anymore, not just because of his painful experience but also because he had-

"Life's not fair," Joe had said, just before he got up to go to his room.

His brother was dying. Dying. The single word echoed in his mind. Guilt and grief had long since eaten Frank inside; he felt like dying too. April has really done it this time, he thought in misery. The arsenic-laden food that was meant for him had failed to take his brother's life the first time, and now for the second time, Frank was terrified it might succeed.

Sighing, Frank pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. Joe had saved his life countless of times before, but he had always bounced back to his feet, ready to tackle another mystery. This time, Joe had saved his life again, but was paying for it with his own. And what hurt the most was that there seemed to be no going back for Joe anymore. He'd passed the point of no return and no one, not even Frank could save him now.

 

"Hey, babe, what's eating you tonight?" Cody McKenna whispered in her ear. Vanessa jerked as if startled, and disentangled herself from his arms, failing to hide a look of disgust. He had called her 'babe'. Vanessa liked it when Joe called her that, in fact she had loved it. But when Cody said it- urgh. Oh Joe, she thought in misery. She couldn't help worrying about him. How did the trial go? Is Joe okay? The endless questions played in her mind all day, as pestering as Cody McKenna. Tired of his relentless pestering, she'd reluctantly agreed to let Cody take her out for a drink, just to calm her nerves a little.

You, she answered silently, wishing that she hadn't accepted his invitation after all. All night, he'd been trying to hit on her. And it was annoying.

"Sorry about to hear what happened to Hardy," he said at last. Vanessa whirled her head around, staring at him in surprise. Did she just hear him right?

"Your ex, right?" Cody shrugged. "Seemed like a nice guy. Nobody deserves something like that." He flicked his hand in the air, in a gesture that seemed to say 'you know'. But Vanessa didn't. She didn't know. She stared at the handsome quarterback, confusion and curiosity giving her features a thoughtful look.

"Wait, I'm missing-I'm missing something here," Vanessa said, her blue-gray eyes narrowed. "Nobody deserves something like what?"

Cody's hazel eyes narrowed. True, he'd been trying to hit on the former quarterback's girl but after hearing what had happened at the courthouse from his jock friends and watching Joe Hardy's testimony himself on TV, he couldn't help pitying him. Poor guy, he had thought. And now I'm here with his girl. It just doesn't seem right.

"Cody?" There was urgency in her voice.

"You don't know?" Now he was really confused.

"Know what?" Vanessa was on the verge of losing her patience.

"Gee, I hate to be the one telling you this but it was on TV and I thought maybe you'd found out-" Cody took in a deep breath. He watched as blood drained from her face as he told her everything, and when he was a more than a little alarmed when Vanessa's whole body started trembling.

"Vanessa? You okay?" Vanessa stood up so abruptly, the whole table shook. Her face had gone ash-gray, her eyes blank and unseeing.

"Cody, I-I've gotta go-" Her voice seemed stuck in her throat, and without another word she turned and fled, leaving Cody staring at her in confusion, determined to leave the place before anyone could see her cry.

 

"I just can't believe it, Callie," Vanessa wept, and leaned her head against her friend's shoulder. "Why? Why is this happening?" She and Callie were sitting on the Shaws' front porch. Vanessa had immediately burst into tears just as soon as Callie answered the door, much to her friend's worry and concern. Callie herself had taken a step back when Vanessa blurted out everything, her sobs so heart-wrenching Callie felt her eyes mist. "Oh Joe..."

Callie, still in shock herself, wrapped an arm around Vanessa, pulling her close. Joe? HIV? Cancer? It was all too much. Callie closed her eyes, her fingers tenderly caressing Vanessa's blond hair. "Let it all out, Vanessa. Let it out."

"That's why he-he didn't want to-" Vanessa's shoulders hitched as she choked back a sob, "-see m-me. Callie, that's why he b-broke up with me!" Her shrill voice was getting louder and louder by the second. Callie had never seen Vanessa this agitated before. But she understood how Vanessa felt. She loved Joe too. Joe was like a brother to her. Callie suddenly felt like crying herself.

Poor Joe, she thought. And poor Frank. She could just imagine how heartbroken Frank must be right now. Joe has cancer? She wondered again, still finding it hard to believe. She had noticed the changes in Joe since the tragedy, he'd become thinner, withdrawn, and he'd barely talked a single word to her all week. Whenever she passed him in the school corridors, an awkward 'hey' and Joe would hurry away from her. In fact, from everybody.

Then Callie did cry. And together the two girls sat there on the porch, each one trying to comfort the other, each one trying to convince the other that everything was going to be alright but knowing deep down that things were just going to get worse instead of better.

 

"Joe, are you ready? Dad's waiting for us downstairs...." Frank's voice trailed off, and a lump instantly rose in his throat. Joe was standing hunched over his dresser, an arm around his midsection, the other one circled around the bedpost for support, his whole body rigid and tense. "Joe, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Joe said tightly through gritted teeth. The pain was especially bad this morning. He breathed in deeply, waiting for the cramps and nausea that had suddenly assaulted him out of the blue to pass. Concerned, Frank made a move toward his brother but Joe shook his head, beads of perspiration standing out on his forehead against his sickly pale face. "No, Frank, I'll be fine in a minute."

"Joe, you're sick..." Frank said uncertainly.

Joe had to smirk at that. Tell me something I don't know, Frank. "Ugh," he grunted as another spasm of pain jolted through him, desperately longing for one of the pills kept in his drawer. No, make it two, he thought as a low groan escaped from his lips. This time he didn't refuse Frank's help as his big brother took hold of his arm and helped him to his bed.

"I need to be there, Frank..." Joe whimpered, his eyes bright with pain. Joe bit his lip to keep from groaning when another violent cramping seized his stomach, leaving him breathless. Oh, why do I have to be sick today? Joe thought in misery as brought his knees up to his chest. The pain was so bad it brought tears to his eyes.

"Is everything okay up here?" Fenton Hardy suddenly materialized at the door and in an instant, he was by his son's side, his face draining of color as he saw how pale Joe was. Frank looked up at him helplessly.

"Pills?" he asked, forcing himself to calm down. Joe shook his head at his father's one word question.

"Took one this morning. Can't take anymore for the next 3 hours," Joe whispered hoarsely, his whole body shuddering as he fought to control his ragged, gasping breaths.

3 hours? Frank gaped. Joe is going to be in this much pain for the next 3 hours?

"We need to go to the courthouse now," Fenton said in a low voice. He watched as Joe curled into a fetal position in the hope to release some of the discomfort, his eyes closed, creases of pain lining his vulnerable, young face.

"What? And leave Joe here?" Frank whispered fiercely. He started to shake his head vehemently. He absolutely refused to leave his brother alone, not when he was suffering from so much pain. He opened his mouth to defiantly say he was staying, when he suddenly felt fingers clutching his arm.

"Go, Frank. I'll be fine," Joe tried to say reassuringly but the expression on his face belied his words. "Frank, please. Just go." He stared pleadingly at his brother through pain-filled eyes.

"But-" Frank started to protest. No way was he leaving Joe at home. What if something happened? What if-

As if reading Frank's mind, Joe forced himself to smile. "Nothing's going to happen, Frank. I'll just sleep it off then I'll be fine. Really." Oh God, his stomach hurt. The pain was gnawing at him again, eating him inside, like he'd swallowed a gallon of acid.

Reluctantly Frank stood up. He knew that today was the last day of the trial and the most important day of all. Today was the day of the verdict, the day that the jury would determine the fate of Garret William Haydin. But he couldn't bear to see Joe in pain. Every cry and groan seemed to wring his heart, twisting it, and pain throbbed deep in his chest. With a heart as heavy as stone, Frank gave Joe one last look and followed his father out.

Joe let out his breath as the door closed behind his brother, not realizing that he'd been holding it.

"Oh, God, it hurts," Joe whimpered pitifully, and doubled-over as another excruciating stab of pain shot through his stomach, bringing more hot tears of pain and agony to his eyes. The truth was, he'd been greatly relieved when his father and brother left the room. He didn't want his family to see him in pain. The expression on Frank's face when he saw him was enough to send a bolt of guilt in his heart. As much as he was hurting, he knew Frank was hurting too. Oh God, please make it stop, Joe prayed fervently, I can't stand this anymore. And little did Joe know, that someone else was praying him too.

 

Vanessa stood uncertainly outside the Hardys' door. At first, her heart sank a little when she saw the Hardys' van backing down the driveway but after a closer look, she saw that Frank and his parents were the only ones inside. Joe must be home, she thought, her heart soaring hopefully. But then she hesitated. Why didn't Joe go with them? Is he okay?

Her heart pounding, Vanessa reached for the doorbell. Should I press it? Will Joe want to see me? Nervously, Vanessa ran her hand through her hair and straightened the sweater she was swearing. She ran a hand down to smoothen out her skirt. Then, after taking a few deep breaths, she placed her finger on the button. Here goes, she thought as she pressed.

 

"Mr Foreman, have you reached a verdict?"

Frank felt a rush of deja-vu coursing through him. Everything looked exactly like in his nightmare, even the foreman was the same stocky man he'd dreamt about. The only thing missing was Joe. Suddenly Frank was glad that Joe had stayed behind. Frank began to doubt that his nightmare was nothing more than a bad dream. What if it was a premonition of some kind? Frank suddenly had a terrible feeling in his gut. C'mon, Frank, God can't be that cruel, he told himself, trying to make himself feel better but not quite succeeding.

"Yes, Your Honor."

Well, premonition or not, here it comes, Frank thought as he braced himself. Fenton reached for her wife's hand.

"We found the defendant-"

PleasepleaseohGodpleaseforJoessakeplease

"Guilty as charged."

"Yes!!!!" Frank let out a war whoop. He couldn't help it. He was so happy he felt like bursting. Tears orose in Laura Hardy's eyes and she wiped them away. At last, justice. Justice was what Joe had asked for and now he had it. Fenton enveloped her in a great hug and letting her go for a while, he reached out to pull his son into the embrace.

"Dad, we did it!" Frank whispered fiercely. Exhilaration raced through his ever nerve, coursing through his bloodstream and exploding in one big burst in his brains.

"The rule of the court also provides for counsel for the Government to have an opportunity to speak. Mr. Hall, do you have any statement to make?" Judge Farrell asked.

Adam Hall was smiling a satisfactory smile. "Thank you, your Honor. We do not."

"Then I'm prepared for the imposition of sentence. Mr. Haydin, will you please come forward with counsel to the lectern." Somberly Haydin rose slowly and Frank's eyes followed him in contempt.

"Garret William Haydin, pursuant to the jury verdict returned on September 5, 2002, finding you guilty on all 12 counts of the indictment, the defendant is adjudged guilty of each of the following offenses: A conspiracy to embezzle money as charged in Count One, the use of a weapon as a means in extortion as charged in Count Two, kidnapping of a minor as charged in Count Three, a conspiracy to sexually assault a minor as charged in Count Four, a conspiracy to murder charged in Counts Five through Seven, and first degree murder as charged in Counts Eight through Twelve. Pursuant to the Federal Death Penalty Act of 1994, appearing in 18 United States Code Sections 3591 to 3596 and the special findings of the jury returned on September 5, 2002 and the jury's unanimous vote recommending that the defendant shall be sentenced to death-"

Frank's breath escaped in one great whoosh as he lowered his head in gratitude.

" It is the judgement of the Court that the defendant, Garret William Haydin is sentenced to death on each of the 12 counts of the indictment. Pursuant to the provisions of 18 United States Code Section 3596, it is ordered that the defendant is committed to the custody of the Attorney General of the United States until exhaustion of the procedures for appeal of the judgment of conviction and review of the sentence."

The whole courtroom was in an uproar now.

"When the sentence is to be implemented, the Attorney General shall release the defendant to the custody of a United States marshal, who shall supervise implementation of the sentence in the manner prescribed by the law of the State of New York-"

This is for you, Joe, Frank telepathically sent the message to his brother, this is the justice you wanted.

" As required by 18 United States Code Section 3013, it is ordered the defendant shall pay a special assessment of $550, which shall be due immediately. Mr. Haydin, you have the right to appeal the judgment of conviction and for a review of the sentence. To exercise that right, you must file a notice of appeal with the clerk of this court within ten days from this day. If you fail to file a notice of appeal within that ten-day period-"

But Frank was no longer listening. He was staring intently at him, at the man who had taken away everything from Joe, who had destroyed his brother's life. Frank felt no pity for him. No pity at all. Just deep hatred and scornful contempt. He gets what he deserves, he thought. So long, Haydin and have a nice time in hell.

" And do you have any question with respect to the procedure to be followed?"

" Not with this court, your Honor," Haydin answered curtly, the expression on his face unreadable. Long gone the bravado, the swagger, the cocky attitude, just the defeated slump of an old, defeated man.

"All right. The defendant is remanded to the custody of the Attorney General through the Marshal's Service as ordered. Court adjourned," Judge Farrell said, banging her gavel hard.

And when Haydin was led out of the courtroom, Frank locked eyes with him, making sure Haydin see the big smile he had plastered on his face. But deep down Frank didn't feel the least bit like smiling. The death penalty is not going to save Joe, he thought in dismay. Nothing will.